“Second Chance” (A FB Guest Blog From Priscilla)

Seven years ago I met this man who I fell in love with for the first time. When we first met I was just going with the flow but as the months went by I started developing deep feelings for him. It wasn’t until one day when I realized that I was falling in love with him. Throughout the years we were both happy. I saw him on the weekends until we eventually decided to live together after three years. When we moved in together, he was gong through some tough times in his personal life. So I was his backbone. I catered to him, held his hand, and dried his tears. During this time I suffered a miscarriage. I felt horrible because he had no children yet. After the miscarriage he became very abusive. He felt as if I had to pay for losing the baby somehow. He never once hit me but he became emotionally abusive. During the two years that we lived together, I felt so lost and very insecure. Before this, I was confident, strong and had so much pride in myself. With him, though, I had lost all that. I was feeling so depressed and down all the time and also gained a lot of weight. My mom would look at me and just think I was happy.

About two years ago we decided to go our separate ways. He moved to Orlando and I had to move in with my mother. I took the next two years to find myself again. I lost the weight I gained, I pampered myself, and I learned to love myself again. My family and friends started seeing the old me reappear, slowly but surely. However, there was still a little part of me that was fragile because of what he put me through. After the first year apart, he decided to be honest with me and told me that he had been in a relationship with someone for over a year; that three months before he and I split up, this other girl “officially” became his girlfriend. I took this as the end to our chapter so I had the right to move on.

Well, I did move on, but I did so cautiously. I started talking to different guys. Some were just pathetic and some were a little lost. I began slowly, only looking for online chat friends. But then there was this one guy. Every time I saw his profile, I looked at it and thought, “Hmm, I think he wants just one thing.” Boy, was I wrong. We started talking to each other and about a month later he asked me what was it that I wanted to happen. I wasn’t sure what he meant. I was being put on the spot and I got nervous because he wanted everything from me and more. He wanted to treat me like a queen. I had never been treated like a queen before so it wasn’t something I had ever looked for. It’s been a while since we started talking, though, and he is now my boyfriend. I wasn’t looking for a relationship but sometimes things happen for a reason. I am happy to be with him and have him in my life. He is amazing and keeps me on my toes.

I remember praying and asking God to replace the garbage that I had in front of me with someone else who was worth so much. I’m falling in love with him now and his feelings for me are the same, yet stronger. But all in all, yes, I am happy…finally! However, I am still healing and dealing with some issues. But I know I will overcome them and be myself again. I am learning to open my heart and allow someone in. Thanks.